One of the saddest things about having a constant internal monologue is how good it is at effortlessly turning feelings into thoughts, labeling them and filing them away. That is exactly what you are not supposed to do with feelings. Yet there I was, actively doing the opposite. I could not entirely register the sensation … Continue reading Crashing Into Me
Category: love
Love You Like a Poem I Never Wrote
They say that people who write poems are a lost breed of die hard romantics, who would lyrically put their heart on the line. I have been sitting here for the past hour, staring at an empty page that seems to stare back at me. All I have managed to write is "To me, you … Continue reading Love You Like a Poem I Never Wrote
Blind Nights
They say that broken women know how to love, but not always who to love, and she stood as proof of that.She looked around the room, last night lingered in small, scattered ways, like light filtering into a space through crooked blinds. It had been good, he had been what she wanted him to be, … Continue reading Blind Nights
Tinderbox
Like a matchstick, waking up in the ruins, of a house it burned down,
Piku and his bag of Peanuts
Ever since he was a boy, Piku had always carried a small bag of peanuts.No one really knew why, not even Piku. It was something his grandmama had started.She used to put a handful into his pockets before he ran out to play.For what exactly, she never explained.Years passed, grandmama was gone, the reason did … Continue reading Piku and his bag of Peanuts
The Same Ending Again
He never quite understood what letting go meant. People said it like it was a place you could walk to, like there was a door marked closure and all you had to do was step through it. He looked for that door often but never found it. He tried though, he tried the way people try diets, earnestly at first, then sporadically, then not at all. He deleted numbers, deleted conversations, avoided places that carried too many memories. He told himself stories about moving on, about growth, about how this time it is going to be different.
Loops (of us)
He found the earring under the cafe table after Nila left. Instinct made him pocket it, the way you keep a movie ticket, as if holding on to a piece of someone could anchor them back into your life. One evening, when he was closing shop, he realized his bike keychain had snapped. With nothing … Continue reading Loops (of us)
Things we forget to die from
For a guy raised in a tropical savanna climate, struggling with 15C feels almost embarrassing. What does that say about me? Have I gone soft? Or maybe I have just gotten too used to this Palo Alto air. I crack open the window, expecting the cold to wake me up fully or maybe numb something … Continue reading Things we forget to die from
No sleep, except to dream
Darling, all is lost, I fear,I wrestled doom, the end is near.First came the wolf, eyes like coal,He growled so deep it shook my soul. I threw a punch straight to his maw,He barely flinched, unsheathed his paw.I hurled a boulder in wild defense,He bit it, broke it, pure violence. Then from the woods, she … Continue reading No sleep, except to dream
Words Whispered in Doubt
If death was my goal, I had certainly found the wrong path, for I wasn’t dying; I was being rescued. But the process was still killing me. Pain bubbled at the bottom of my stomach and surged up to my vocal cords, making me want to shout, to scream. I would have, if it weren’t … Continue reading Words Whispered in Doubt
Letters to the Sky
Dad says you live in the sky now and that you are watching us from up above. I often find you peeping from behind the clouds. I am not sure if I like this hide and seek game of yours. Dad misses you a lot more than I do.I can tell by the way he … Continue reading Letters to the Sky